Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time there was a little girl who felt very misunderstood and actually unsure of who loved her. She longed for a pet, a very specific pet. Alas, pets came & went but none were this pet. Of course she loved each of them and something in her died when she lost each one. Someone else chose each because of whatever reason they had and she accepted each. It seems it was not meant for her to have a four legged friend very long for something always happened to them.

Somewhere in the distance there was this hissing whisper, “you are not worthy of your dreams, you’re not worthy”. She did not know her accuser but what she heard felt true, had she ever had the special pet she wanted, had they lived or remained with her very long? So, deep inside she believed…believed she was second best and what she deserved was too.

A perception was born, a foundation laid. This become woven in the fabric of who she was, unnoticed because of her acceptance. She stopped dreaming, in all areas giving preference to others, enabling their dreams to the extent of her ability.

One day she found her pet…the specific one she had always wanted! Happiness wrapped its arms around her. Oh, how lucky she was! She couldn’t believe it!

They lived together one year and then he died.

Hiss, you’re not worthy, hiss, came the whisper again. She listened. Again, it came. It was familiar, it seemed to ring true.  Ah, but this time she knew who her accuser was and the nature of the lies he spoke. Each hiss brought forth the lies woven in her being. But now instead of validating the recurring lie, it was met with truth! Truth! She was loved by her heavenly Father, chosen by Him!

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.  John 15:16

Chosen!! Not discarded. Not forgotten. Loved and selected by the King! The Giver of good gifts!

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

No more lies. They make come but they will not be believed. She knows she is loved and her heart is full of praise and delight in His presence!

Goodbye Snoopy,  my friend.  January 29, 2013

I Will Never Leave You

I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5

What does one do when they feel forsaken, forgotten? Questions scream louder than the thoughts in one’s head, ricocheting off the broken pieces of the heart. Why? WHY? Where are you God?

The world cries with Newtown, Connecticut.

Where are you God?

Each child precious, each adult endearing. Gone.

Where are you God?

In the midst of the tears He whispers ‘I am here‘. His own heart breaking with ours.  “I. Will. Never. Leave. You. Nor. Forsake. You.”

Evil exists. I am with you.

Pain penetrates. I will comfort you.

Strength fades. I will carry you.

Now is the time to remind ourselves, to remind others, of God’s attributes. He is faithful, He is merciful, He is the Prince of Peace, He is the Redeemer, He is the Restorer, He is the Provider, He is the Comforter, He is Strength, He is good, He is loving. Whatever we need, He can and will supply.

One day at a time. One step at a time.

Ayden Christopher

This sweet baby is my grandson. Why, am I introducing you to him? Well, that’s because I am so thankful for him.  When my daughter was 8 months pregnant with him we discovered he had a heart defect. Special arrangements had to be made because not every hospital can deal with heart defects. Ayden was born August 14, 2010 with Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome. This picture is his birthday. He had to be whisked off immediately after birth. This is the prep he had to go thru.

Ayden lived 12 days due to complications. There are surgeries to correct this and many children live.  He didn’t make it to the first one. Our time with him was precious-howbeit painful. We celebrated his 1 week birthday, we have a pic of  him wearing a college ring (his uncle’s). We savored every small thing!

God is Sovereign and sometimes it hurts. When you lose a baby the grief is different but still enormous. It’s every thing Ayden didn’t get to do, we didn’t get to do with him, all our hopes and dreams we grieved. I’m crying as I’m writing BUT I still smile when I look at sweet face. I cannot wait to see him again! I’m thankful I will, I’m thankful for him! Though his life was short he is loved tremendously!