You Collect What?

My first response to this might be ‘Dust’ πŸ™‚ Yes, I am a collector and that is about what it amounts to!

Let me start by saying I am a hoarder too. Yuck, did I just make that known? That’s what happens when you collect everything and develop emotional attachments to it. My first collections were things that belonged to family members, mostly those who had died. Some of those things had particular memories attached to it but many were just because they belonged to people I loved. This is a two edge sword honed from insecurity. Those who I knew loved me back on one side and those who I wasn’t sure of on the other. Now, all these people loved me – in the ways they were capable; it’s insecurity that lavished meaning upon these objects. I longed deep inside for relationship – that is how we were made – and somewhere, I guess, that got too scary and things become my filler.

I filled a 3 story house to it’s limit. Don’t have visions of those hoarders on TV! Trash did go out….well, most of it πŸ™‚ It was hard to throw out magazines and newspapers collected until I had time to read them and then they went out. Do you ever look at something and instead of judging (which makes us feel better about ourselves, right?), you find yourself wondering ‘did they begin like me?’ or ‘how long before that would become me?’ Anyway, get piles of trash and climbing over them out of your heads – it wasn’t like that. I’m a display-er. Nice arrangements everywhere! Most people found my home to be ‘cozy’ and ‘comfortable’. I made others feel welcome but I think that is because my home reflected me and they were there because they liked me.

To maintain lots of stuff is work!! When our lives are running smoothly it’s one thing but if anything gets out of kilter, well, then it’s like a landslide! It just doesn’t make for an orderly home…

How I got freed from my belongings is another story and yet one still in progress. That’s not what I want to talk about right now. I had a very special collection…one that I loved! It was an intentional one, not one handed down. It’s this story I want to share. Come back tomorrow.

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